The beginning of the year makes me think of change and growth. What do I want to change this year? How do I want to grow? It reminds me of that all-important lesson I learned years ago: to always be doing something which scares you but is good for you. To constantly be stretching.

In 2009, I stopped practicing a martial art I’ve been learning for the last 10 years to learn a new one. It scared me, but forced me to grow. In 2010, I focused on photography, pushing myself to go out and shoot, sacrificing vacation time and early mornings to it. In 2011, I learned how to cook. Doesn’t sound like a big deal but it was for someone like me who had no idea how to cook.

What’s something you can do in 2012 which scares you but is good for you?

1. Unleashing Your Creative Monster: First, Care

Like every year, I did less and more than I thought I would in 2011.

I visited New Zealand for the first time, one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever seen in my life. I flew up in a helicopter and landed next to a pristine mountain lake inaccessible otherwise. Its beauty took my breath away. One of the highlights of the year, as well as my life. If there is a Heaven, it probably looks like this.

I lost my first car, a classic 1991 BMW E30. I loved little 20-year old Snoopy, and my dad was especially attached to her. Her gear-box had died and it didn’t make economical sense to repair her. My heart still aches a bit when I see old photos of her.

I got engaged during a lovely, happy weekend getaway.

I unearthed my purpose: “A life on purpose is one of fulfillment through growth and appreciation. It is a life of artistic expression and courageous exploration, inspired by love, wisdom and honor.”

I learned how to cook, both healthy and not so healthy dishes.

I revisited my friend the monk in Thailand and filmed an interview with him there. It was the fulfillment of a couple of dreams, and a risk taken on a new one. The final video interview isn’t perfect, but I’m proud of it and I gained more from the trip than I could have imagined beforehand. Thank God for dear, frank friends who pushed me out of my comfort zone and encouraged me to do it.

I started meditating again, semi-regularly, and can already feel the benefits. Better focus, more empathy, a clearer mind and an improving memory.

I attended the funeral of one of my classmates. She was one of the brightest spirits I knew, and her loss made me very sad. It made me feel old – really old – for the first time. It broke my heart seeing my best friends cry. A stark reminder of how little time each of us has together and to make the best of it.

I attended the wedding of one of my oldest and best friends. It made me very happy to see one of the most beautiful couples I know finally get married. I photographed the event and was glad I could help them capture some of the precious moments on their special day. It made me remember why I love photography so.

Most of all, I deeply enjoyed spending time with loved ones, drinking deeply of the unique times I got to spend with each of them – moments which, once gone, would never come again. That’s what endings remind of us, I think, that if we get the chance to have a new beginning we should treasure it this time round with more even love and awareness than before.

I hope you had a happy 2011 full of love, and I wish you and I a 2012 filled with more lived-in moments.

1. Recovering from Imperfections
2. The Person Who Would Go
3. The Gap Between Frames

You’ve never seen Life Coaches Blog look so good.

She’s gone through a complete redesign, thanks to the Currents WordPress theme from WooThemes. This is how she used to look:

The previous, third-generation design of Life Coaches Blog.

This is how she looks now:

Life Coaches Blog, redesigned.

Why Revise a Dormant Site?

But you might wonder why I bothered revamping the site, since I’ve shuttered Life Coaches Blog since 2008 and have no intentions to continue posting there.

Over 100,000 Visits in 2011

The main reason is that Life Coaches Blog still gets a good amount of traffic, even though it’s nowhere near when the site was still active. On average, Life Coaches Blog received 11,816 visits per month this past year. Posts like What You Didn’t Know About Bruce Lee’s Kick-Ass Success, 9 Keys to Overcoming Difficult Times and Getting Your Life on Track remain popular.

Besides these three articles, there are over 500 personal development posts still freely available on the site. But the previous design of Life Coaches Blog didn’t showcase the wealth of articles very well, it simply showcased posts in a reverse chronological order.

The new Currents theme changes that, the home page layout shows you more posts at a glance across multiple categories, not just the most recent but also the most popular, recent category posts and highlighted posts. This should help new visitors find interesting posts around the site more easily.

Meet the Team

The second reason is that the previous version of Life Coaches Blog didn’t showcase the site’s team of authors very well. Now there’s a short list of authors on the site’s sidebar, and a brand new Meet the Team page where you can see each author listed. Bet you didn’t know that Life Coaches Blog had a total of 16 authors altogether!

Because it’s Better

The final reason for the change is a simple one: Because Life Coaches Blog is better this way. I’m fastidious about how my work looks, and I want it to be presented in the best way possible. This version of Life Coaches Blog is more modern and presents the material in a better way.

Leaving the Legacy

Still, there’s a limit to how much time I want to spend on revising an old blog. I’m conscious of the fact that I can go back in and tweak things endlessly, so in the interest of spending my time wisely I didn’t change much of the theme beyond its default settings. I’ve also left the written material alone, complete with mistakes and all.

It’s funny, while looking back at some of the posts I wrote I cringe inside. It’s been three years since I’ve closed Life Coaches Blog, six years since I started it, and with the benefit of added experience, I wouldn’t write some of the things I did then.

But I did the best I knew how at the time, and if not for having started Life Coaches Blog I wouldn’t have learned as much about writing and designing on the web as I did. I also wouldn’t have landed my first full-time writing gig, as Life Coaches Blog served as my writing portfolio.

As it is, since it’s seemed to have helped some people in its time and continues to engage the interest of some today, I’m content to leave it as it is, a small legacy of a younger self.

1. Life Coaches Blog Gives to Conservation International
2. Unleashing Your Creative Monster: Be Proud
3. Why 21 Dragons Exists

No related posts.

I write every single day. It’s my day job. But because I write every single day, there are days when I reach home, and the words dry up when I want to write for myself. I don’t know if an exhaustible well is an apt metaphor for the creative writing process, but it feels like that to me. Perhaps it’s a matter of stamina; some writers – like some runners – have more stamina than others, whether it’s a matter of born talent or a trained resource. Or maybe it’s simply a matter of a choked dam, and all I need to do is wait for the dam to break.

Paiboon’s video is going to take even longer than I hoped. A rough cut, about 1/3 of the way, has been done, but I realized I know a lot less than I need to about video editing, so I need to take some extra time out to re-learn a few things, and then to head back to editing.

That little announcement I promised nearly a month ago is also taking longer than I’d hoped, but things are moving along and I’m certain its launch shouldn’t be too far off.

In the meantime, 21 Dragons has gone through some minor design tweaks here and there. There’s a new About page with a photo of me posing pensively. The Archives page has received a usability boost thanks to the Clean My Archives WordPress plugin. The text font has been changed from serif to sans-serif, and I’m using a single font face for the entire site which should help it look cleaner.

It’s not much, but I enjoy refining things like this, simple step by simple step.

1. For Brenda & Yezhong
2. Love Your Words
3. Words Build Cultures

Just got back from a logistics meeting feeling incredibly excited about a new personal project I’m doing. Next Saturday I’m flying off to Udon Thani, a small town in Thailand, for about a week. I’m going to visit my friend Paiboon, who’s been a monk for the last five years, at the forest temple of Wat Pa Don Hiay Soke.

I last visited him four years ago; I told the story of my first visit to the forest temple and the subsequent 10 days in a Vipassana meditation retreat in the now retired Life Coaches Blog. I’ve always wanted to visit with him again, but I never got around to doing it.

Paiboon & I, four years ago in 2007.

Since those four years, I’ve polished my interviewing and photographic skills working as a full-time writer, and I dreamed up this idea of not just revisiting Paiboon, but applying my skills there to come back with a short video interview about his life as a monk in this remote forest temple.

I thought his friends back home would be curious to know why he gave up his secular life and career four years ago to become a monk, and especially curious about why he’s stayed a monk for the last five years, when at the beginning he only wanted to become one for three months. What has he gained that makes him prefer a life of austerity over a secular life, and what nuggets of wisdom can he share with us after following the Buddha’s path for half a decade? Does he ever think he’ll come back to a secular life, if not, why not?

Even though I’ve had this idea for some time, I procrastinated on it, telling myself that “I don’t have the time/money/expertise/equipment.” It wasn’t until I shared the idea with a close friend of mine that he pushed me and convinced me that not only could I do it, I had to do it, if only because the project scared and stretched me. And it spoke to my soul as part of my purpose; to live “a life of artistic expression and courageous exploration, inspired by love, wisdom and honor.”

I never could have planned for it beforehand, but one of the reasons I’m so excited is that just by visiting with a friend today I managed to borrow a whole set of lenses for use in the video shoot. I don’t have a lot of equipment, and the budget for renting gear is tight, so I appreciate any help I can get. It’s just as W. H. Murray said:

Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way.

I’ve gone on journalistic trips before, coming back with written articles and photographs. But I’ve never gone on one shooting video, and I haven’t shot any video since my school days a decade ago. So this project has got me equal parts nervous and excited; but I’m happy to be stretching, and happily looking forward to seeing my friend the monk again.

1. Back from Wat Pa Don Hiay Soke
2. Sunday Dhamma Talk or Buddhism & the City

I never had any interest in learning how to drive.

For that, I have to credit an ex-girlfriend, who repeatedly pushed me to take lessons. I’m glad I did now, because I was lucky enough to graduate with a family car waiting for me. For my first car, I got a 1991 BMW E30 316.

It may have been 16 years old when I got it, but it was still in relatively good shape. And it handled like a dream – not that I knew how to appreciate it until I had to drive a rental Japanese car when Snoopy later got into an accident. Snoopy was what I called her, strange mix of gender I know, when the Snoopy from the cartoon strip Peanuts is male. But my brother coined the name after it got sprayed white, with its black accents it looked just the part and the name stuck. I never felt like Snoopy was a guy though, so I always called Snoopy ‘her’.

Even though some of my friends made fun of me driving an old car, I absolutely loved the fact that she was a vintage breed. For one, you don’t get many of her on the road, and whenever Snoopy and I bumped into another E30 there was always a joy of recognition (I remember one particular gold E30 pulled up beside us on the road and we waved hello to each other). I loved her centered, balanced stance and her unassuming headlight eyes. I loved her classic frame, which gave her infinitely more character than the generic-looking cars these days which tend to look like one other. Just by looking at her, you could tell that the car had been designed by somebody who cared, and it made me appreciate driving her all the more.

Brothers generations apart. Snoopy’s eyes look positively innocent compared to the newer BMW’s mischievous ones.

Most of all, I loved how long she’s lasted. Sure, she’s had her fair share of repairs (and more repairs needed), but this is a car that has lasted nearly two decades, and still handles better than newer cars I’ve driven. There were times I would drive home, and sit parked inside her in the darkness by myself, with a big grin on my face after a satisfying drive, feeling like such a lucky owner. As a rookie driver, I had some close shaves, and I attribute those near saves to Snoopy’s fast reflexes, reacting just when I needed her to.

A couple of weeks ago, my girlfriend and I were driving up to her place when I stepped on the accelerator and there came a sudden sound from deep inside Snoopy, as of something important snapping, and the engine started making a loud alien noise. I immediately pulled over and stopped the engine, but after I restarted she wouldn’t move. And I didn’t know it then, but she would never move on her own power again.

Her gear-box had died out, and after crunching the numbers, it just didn’t make any economic sense to continue with the repairs. It was with a heavy heart that we decided to let her go and sell her for scrap. It broke my heart, and my father’s (who has his own extraordinary relationship with the car, but that’s another story); both of us had grown very attached to Snoopy.

Everything I’ve learned from Buddhism and psychology tells me that it’s silly and unhelpful to identify myself with a thing, which like all things will eventually fade away. A thing which has no actual life, and no actual feelings. But few things in my life evoke an emotional connection with me, and I’ve grown to believe – or want to believe – that for better or worse, the things in our lives which we infuse with love grow a special kind of life, if only in our own minds, which make us treasure them the more. And look back more fondly on them when we have to let them go.

To my dear Snoopy: Goodbye my friend, I loved you until the end. Thank you for taking care of me on the road all these years and getting me where I wanted to go. I probably wasn’t your best owner, but I hope I wasn’t the worst. I didn’t expect you to go so soon, but like they say; “all good things…” I wish you well in that big car-park in the sky.

Goodbye my friend.

No related posts.

I get why some people don’t like Chinese New Year. The same incessant songs running on repeat, the endless questions by relatives during visits and the sheer effort put into every year’s preparations.

But for my part, I love Chinese New Year. I love the cleaning and the preparing, I love that the shops are closed, I love the festive season in the air, I love that everyone wears something new and cheerful. And though the words may not always come true every year, I love how we still greet each other with blessings of health and wealth on this special occasion.

Most of all, I love visiting relatives I don’t get to see for the entire year. I love seeing my aunties, uncles and cousins – maybe not all of them to be sure, but enough of them to make it all worthwhile. It’s also a stark realization when I see them older every year; when many of them are passing through the golden years into the sunset ones.

This year, one of my aunties doesn’t respond as quickly to our calls anymore, and she just sits there staring into space. I’m not sure if she’s just hard of hearing and seeing or if she just isn’t there. It makes me think of times when she was vital, when we used to all play cards together at Chinese New Year and when I used to stay at her house as a little child.

Seeing that reminded me to cherish the people I still have around me. Because every new year that comes around is also another year less we have with each other.

And that’s why I still love Chinese New Year, even today.

1. My Grandmother’s Prayers