One of the central themes in the book A Million Miles in a Thousand Years: What I Learned While Editing My Life (my review here) is that of conflict versus comfort. The author Donald Miller admits to losing himself in daydreams, and I admit to doing the same. Daydreams in which I’m a leaner, stronger version of myself, living a more exciting life than I do now.
But why do we do that? Why do we lose ourselves in front of the TV or computer, gazing and clicking our lives away, instead of going out there and living like the heroes we see on TV and the computer?
In the book, Miller writes that human beings don’t like to be uncomfortable and therefore they seek comfort. Yet, without conflict – not necessarily the kind of conflict that involves violence between people, but a general sort of conflict that goes against you getting your goals – there is no character. Great ambition introduces great conflict, which leads to great character.
At the same time, we don’t want to be uncomfortable, stressed and afraid. We imagine how great it would be to live through conflict, like the heroes we see on the TV, but the great truth is that when you’re in the middle of conflict, you don’t like it in there. You want to have lived through conflict, not to be in conflict. Nobody wants to be doing sit-ups, they just want to have great abs.
And yet, the experience of conflict, the push against odds to achieve your heart’s desire, is what builds your character in the end, not the actual heart’s desire itself. At the same time, you don’t want to be looking for conflict simply for the sake of experiencing conflict, you want to be looking for a goal worthy enough to inspire you to go on even through conflict.
What’s my worthy goal? No answers here, just wondering out loud.
{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }
alvin, i bought the audio book because of your review! it was a really good listen. i, for one, would fight to avoid conflict hahaaa. it makes sense that conflict (and getting over the conflict) is what makes a story interesting… but perhaps that’s exactly the reason why i’ve lost interest in watching movies recently. take for example avatar. it is gorgeously done, but the story? i’ve seen it a thousand times before…some epic conflict is created in order for it to be resolved… i guess i got tired of it at some point of time…
but what you’ve written makes sense. internal conflicts need not always be bad, that’s how we learn and grow. i just need a little time to sit on the idea and see how it fits into my life.